How Does a Child Forget?



February 15, 2008
By JUDY MASTERSON JMASTERSON@SCN1.COM

A girl who is raped must keep living.

"It's like loosing an arm," said Jasmine, 17, who was sexually assaulted when she was 11. "You have to rearrange your life. It's so easy to dwell in the past. Sexual assault is such a confusing and twisted attack, especially on a child. It's very confusing. You need proper guide rails."

Jasmine has chosen not to try to forget that the assault occurred. She and her mother have been active in LaCASA - their efforts for the organization are a reminder of what happened.

"I've developed a mechanism for being around the information without it overwhelming me," Jasmine said. "I don't get mental pictures all the time - just once in great while, when I'm in my own thoughts, when I have space to think about it. But its not a daily thing. When it happens, I try to focus on other things like making things better for other people because of what happened. I try to turn it into a positive, use it to make me even stronger."

"I was fortunate to have a parent who took action and who persisted through the turmoil. A lot of people go through it and their parents don't know how to handle it and don't have the resources they need to deal with it."

"If you loose one arm, you make the other twice as a strong and go from there. I try to strengthen my emotions, get them in balance. If I'm bothered, I talk to my mom. If I hear something really bad about a little kid, I choose not to listen."

"I try to not give the perpetrator power. I think about how he didn't gain anything from it and that he must be in hell to have to think that way. I see him for who he is - not someone with a great life. If you can think realistically, it makes it easier to let go."

"It's important to let go because he has no power over me. He doesn't gain anything from what he did to me, and I didn't loose anything. I think of all that I have going for me, my goals and how I can use what happened to me to make me more sensitive to others and how it makes me stronger."

"I survived something that awful and I can still function in society."

© 2009   MOMSV    
Established April 2008